My Official Public Comments on any "Service" or DOI plan to put the polar bear on any list, "threatened" or otherwise
Supervisor, U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service, Marine Mammals Management Office
1011 East Tudor Road - MS 341
Anchorage, Alaska 99503
p[email protected]; [email protected] 
CC: [email protected]
BCC: Let your imagination run wild!
This entire email, along with all headers, is to be construed and accepted as my official public comments on any U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service or Department of the Interior plans to list the polar bear as "threatened" -- or to put it on any other list.
I understand the deadline for comment submission is April 9, 2007. It is hoped that my comments will serve as inspiration for others to decipher the "proposal" and help the polar bear by sending their comments, too!
'The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service will ... present information and take public comments on the 12-month petition finding and proposed rule to list the polar bear as "threatened" throughout its range under the Endangered Species Act.... The Service is particularly interested in comments concerning information on polar bear distribution, habitat selection, food habits, population density and trends, habitat trends, and effects of management on polar bears, the effects of sea ice change on the distribution and abundance of polar bears and their principal prey, the effects of other potential factors (such as oil and gas development, contaminants, ecotourism, hunting, and poaching), any populations of the species that may qualify as distinct population segments, and data and studies referred to within the proposal.'
The above comment guidelines infer that only certain "experts" be qualified to comment intelligently. No doubt, many of these "experts" are paid by The Nature Conservancy and others of its ilk. In truth, one need not be an expert on polar bears or "habitat" to be cognizant of the "proposal" and its consequences. With that in mind, I'll simply comment from the polar bear's perspective, being confident that my comments will be far more accurate and honest than "the Service's proposal."
The polar bear is far less interested in the "Service" than the "Service," DOI and the various and sundry public-private partners. The polar bear would be even less impressed by the "interest" in information on its "distribution, habitat selection, food habits, population density and trends, habitat trends ... effects of management ... sea ice change on ... distribution and abundance," etc., etc., etc., ad nauseam. The polar bear does not care about tourism of any kind, "Eco" or otherwise. It is likely, in fact, to be offended by the inference that such things might negatively impact it. The polar bear is utterly disgusted by your use of Language Deception in order to make people think it is such a wimp that "other potential factors" might bother it. What it really wants and needs is for you to leave it alone, thank you very much. The polar bear lives in an area that is no more friendly to paper pushers and their incessant meddling where they and their "pie in the sky" (or more likely: "Chicken Little, sky is falling") figures would give them a failing grade in any math teacher's class. The polar bear has, I feel certain, "distinct populations," and if anyone plans to test that theory, just watch the 'fireworks' begin! Polar bears do not take kindly to outsiders whose only wish is for something to bear enough resemblance to the Trojan horse that the taxpayers will open the gates and let it in, there to wreak havoc heretofore unknown to man in its intensity and ferocity. Even the polar bear is not such a cannibalistic predator! The polar bear understands better than most people about property rights. It understands the many and varied nuances of the "Endangered Species Act" and how the ESA has been used for decades to stop almost all but the most powerful people's ability to own and utilize private property. It understands this plan and that foreign oil is more profitable for certain political and private interests than Alaskan oil. It would tell you what it thinks of your "proposal," but would not do so in polite company. It wants USFWS aka "the Service," to stay out of its business and its back yard. Though it may not know how to read the printed word, you can bet it knows how to read "the signs of the times." The polar bear might well roar ferociously and tell you to all mind your own business and stop seeking to use it as the latest real estate agent in an agenda that does not care one whit about "protecting" anything but paychecks and perks.
Let's stop the small talk, smoke and mirrors, shall we? The polar bear is not "threatened" by anything except bureaucratic schemes and dreams of money and power. The interest in polar bears -- and all other "species" the "Endangered Species Act" purports to be about "saving" -- would evaporate faster than an ice cube in the Mojave Desert in July, if the obscene amount of grant and other funding were to dry up.
It's time to stop the scam. It is not about the polar bear. It never was. It never will be.
Forget any intent of "listing" the polar bear. It doesn't want to be your real estate agent and is thoroughly disgusted by your plans to use and abuse its good name in such a shameful way.
Honesty is, and always has been, the best policy. The polar bears told me to tell you so!
Julie Kay Smithson, researcher
213 Thorn Locust Lane
London, OH 43140
[email protected]