Club, Center for Biological Diversity file suit against Mother Nature
May 23, 2006
Cleveland National Forest, San
Diego, California - Cleveland National Forest Service Biologist Mary
Thomas informed the public today that Maple Springs Road -- the name for
Silverado Canyon Road where it enters the National Forest -- will
remain open this year.
Due to a lawsuit filed over seven
years ago by the Center for Biological Diversity to protect the Arroyo
Toad breeding area from human impact, Maple Springs Road was ordered
closed to all access during the Arroyo Toad breeding season, which lasts
from April 1 to October 30.
Due to the destruction of the Arroyo
Toad's egg laying habitat, caused by last year's record rains, the toads
continue to be unable to breed for a second year in a row. Droughts in
past consecutive years have also stopped the breeding season.
The Center For Biological Diversity
and Sierra Club have filed a lawsuit/restraining order against Mother
Nature in the 9th District Court for her actions -- rain -- leading to
the destruction of Arroyo Toad habitat. They also accuse Mother Nature
of causing multi-year droughts, which have also prevented the toad from
Because of this lawsuit, Mother
Nature was served yesterday with a restraining order signed by Judge U.
Harshly. Harshly wants to put an immediate halt to so-called "Acts
of God," citing information from a confidential source that Mother
Nature is really behind it all, not God.
A spokesman for the Sierra Club
stated that Mother Nature refuses to keep nature frozen in a
"static" state and is believed in the past to have caused the
extinction of 'countless species' (including dinosaurs) by Ice Ages,
Warming Periods and massive meteors.
To prove their point that Mother
Nature has been negligent, they presented historical evidence in the
lawsuit that shows that the higher temperatures of the Medieval Warm
Period, from approximately 750 A.D. to 1250 A.D. -- caused by an
increase in sunspot activity -- allowed the Vikings to colonize a warmer
and greener Greenland.
Historical records also provide
evidence that these higher temperatures allowed vineyards and winemaking
to be brought northward into the British Isles during the Medieval Warm
The higher temperatures of the
Medieval Warm Period were followed by the Little Ice Age, which froze
the Viking colonies out of Greenland and created agricultural shortages
across Northern Europe.
Scientific reports and historical
records indicate that sunspot activity reached a maximum during the
warmest temperatures of the Medieval Warm Period, and that the coldest
temperatures of the Little Ice Age occurred during the Maunder Sunspot
Minimum, the period from 1645-1715 AD in which minimal sunspot activity
The Sierra Club spokesperson stated,
"We wish we could blame past cooling and warming periods on man and
his effect on "Global Cooling" and "Global Warming"
-- but cars and modern industry did not exist -- so Mother Nature has to
He continued, "What people
forget is that, although these cooling and warming periods brought on by
Mother Nature forced humans to adapt or die, the impact on non-human
species was just as great -- affecting their habitat, potential habitat,
breeding patterns, fish populations and migratory patterns."
When the Sierra Club spokesman was
questioned as to whether the past cooling trend experienced between 1940
and 1970, which resulted in the "Global Cooling" crises, and
the current warming period since that time could also be blamed on
Mother Nature -- since these climate changes coincided with a
corresponding decrease and increase in sunspot activity -- he responded
by accusing the person asking the question of being in the pocket of
'big oil' -- and stated that the Sierra Club believed Mother Nature to
also be in the same pocket.
The restraining order signed by
Judge U. Harshly further stated that all future cataclysmic events will
henceforth be illegal, and singled out "asteroid impacts with
Earth" as having unusually unacceptable consequences. All asteroids
having any intention of ever even coming CLOSE to Earth will be treated
with the harshest measures imaginable.
A spokesperson from The "Earth
Liberation Front" stated, "Bad, bad, Mother Nature."
At press time, we were unable to
get a statement from Mother Nature, who was also reported in the Los
Angeles Times to be under investigation by the United Nations for
"destroying other critical habitat by her blatant use of volcanoes,
earthquakes and tsunamis."
I wrote this "parody" after the Forest Service notified me that it wouldn’t need to close an important road into the Cleveland National Forest this year to comply with a lawsuit filed by the Center for Biological Diversity to protect the Arroyo Toad. For the fourth year in a row, Mother Nature -- not man -- has stopped the toad from breeding. The "historical" evidence related to past warming and cooling periods is not made up -- it's true.