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Cassie's Gift to Me
November 20, 2005 By Sarah W. When the nurse put my newborn grandson in my arms, I fell in love. I thought it was impossible to love anyone on this earth as much as I loved my beautiful daughter, Cassie, but when little Cooper was placed in my arms, my love expanded to include this tiny creature. A new life; another chance for me. I stayed with Cassie and her husband, Matt, for three weeks after Cooper was born, helping her care for him until she got back on her feet. I lived 200 miles away, and I dreaded the time when I would have to leave them both. One night, near the end of my stay, Cassie and Matt went out for dinner and a movie. I gave Cooper his bottle, and put him to bed. Around 11 p.m., I heard him waking up, so I began heating his bottle, then I changed his diaper. I picked him up, cradling him in my arms, and began saying, "Gran loves you so much, you sweet baby boy; Gran loves you." Suddenly, Cooper's big blue eyes looked right into mine. They were different somehow; full of wisdom, like an adult's eyes, and every time I told him I loved him, he stared back, right into my eyes, with a look so pure and loving that it overwhelmed me. His eyes, like an old soul, seemed to be trying to let me know that he understood. I felt I was looking into his eyes and on through to something else, and I suddenly realized that "something else" had to be God. Cooper was a fresh and unblemished new life, and I glimpsed God through my grandson's eyes. I will never forget the overpowering and pure love that swept over me on that cold January night in 1985. My new grandson and I "connected" that night, and we have been connected ever since. Cooper and I spent many happy times together as he was growing up, thanks to Cassie, who so unselfishly shared him with me. There were little league baseball games (he was a great little player), Grandparents' Days at school, weeklong visits with me in the summertime and during spring and fall breaks. If Cooper was with me during the week, he went with me to work. As a social worker, I had my own office, so he spent a lot of time with me there, where he rearranged paper clips, pens, etc., in my desk, made copies and "watched over me." (On occasion, people with mental problems came in, and once, when a man on drugs came in for assistance, he began acting and looking at me strangely. After he left, Cooper said, "I was watching him, Gran. He was looking at you funny and I thought I might have to jump him." He was all of nine years old at the time!) He learned a lot about low-income people and their problems and was very compassionate and caring toward them all. His compassion and caring, however, did not keep him from being like other little boys. He loved to play with his friends, ride his bicycle, climb trees (TOO high; he was a little daredevil!), and, occasionally, get into fights. His father taught him to street fight, and he rarely lost. He never looked for fights, but he never ran from one, either. Cooper is 20 years old now and is still the kind and caring boy he was as a child. He kisses and hugs me whenever I see him, and he always tells me he loves me. He has his own life now with his girlfriend and his friends, and that is as it should be. I miss the "little" Cooper, though, and often look back with longing to our times together. Cooper ... Cassie's gift to me. |